IT'S A....

BOY!

We had the big ultrasound today and found out without a doubt this will be a little boy :) Just one example as to WHY we felt without a doubt ;) 

He made sure to flash those boy parts a few times during it ;) lol. So I think we are confident what it is this time :) Which is nice. Now we can pick a name... which will be the more difficult task! Boy names are harder! But we will figure something out :)

I also have an anterior placenta again, so it means for little feeling again. Three pregnancies three anterior and I heard it wasn't supposed to the norm... I love feeling baby inside so it annoys me! But baby looks to be healthy with a three vessel cord so I'll take it :) 

 Emilie said she doesn't want a boy :) So we will see if your mind changes some. I told her I had a little brother but she's not thrilled with it, either way.

 And just foe consistency sake :) Here's an 18 week doll made by Angel in my Arms Dolls which you can find here :) He's growing!

___________ Vaughn

So I don't know how many of you know about a special reading that was done in November. A medium by only seeing Kaitlin's picture contacted me one night and said she was being contacted by someone and it was meant for me. The spirits she saw were two little girls and one man of a smaller stature. After some other placing details it was clear it was my Uncle Vaughn with Kaitlin and Sage. So the reading went on. They mentioned in a abstract way Miscarriage Blankets and More along with Kaitlin's Angels and told me how this year would be our year. That things would get BETTER. At that specific point in time my shop and integrity was attacked by just people who wanted to be mean. I came close to shutting it all down and leaving it behind forever. That night in particular was when I thought I made up my mind to do so. But the reading told me otherwise.

So the year started and it was shortly in we got the positive test for this special little baby. My life overall has indeed already gotten better with the shop and my nonprofit, so so far it's holding true to the reading.

But this all goes deeper. The only comfort I ever took from thinking about Kaitlin not being with me is that I thought she was with him. Who better to care for my little baby than a person who was like a second father. Even though the time I had with him was brief he is a constant part of my memory of my childhood. I wish he hadn't decided to take his own life. But I've been there myself and I know how powerful those feelings can be, so I understand it. Sometimes the feelings are literally not in your control so I forgive him for it. I hold no resentment towards him and still love him and miss him.

So as we have progressed through this pregnancy I've put my belief in the reading that came from him. That this was going to be our year, that this baby was not going to be lost. It was often all I had to hang on to in some dark moments of fear. It didn't always bring me comfort but it helped.

So I've talked it over and over and over again with Jason and being the supportive loving husband he is he's agreed to allowing this child's name boy or girl to be Vaughn in honor of my uncle.

A man who will live on in my heart and I know the hearts of many others until we all too part from this earth.

16 weeks :)

The photo above is a replica baby at 16 weeks :) It was made by a great person who is part of our infant loss community who makes these custom for angel moms. You can visit her page here: 

https://www.facebook.com/angelinmyarmsdolls

It's so hard to believe something that big is squished up in there, now...I KNOW it's going to get bigger, but still :) Hopefully we know baby's gender in a few weeks and then we can work on a name :) 

Lets compare some belly shots for the heck of it :) 

Here's a glimpse of a heartbeat. The baby is getting harder to track it seems, I play a game of cat and mouse most nights trying to get it to stay still long enough to get a true read. The beat is normally between 130-140 so this is low, but I don't think it was picking it up that well with what you will hear is the little one moving some too... 

Found this quilt at second hand store. I think it's a homemade one, since I can't find a tag or where a tag might have been. But it's sort of the same colors as what I was doing in crochet, so I thought it would match well :)